Foreign languages make me happy

What if speaking another language was more than just an occasional, brief diversion? What if it was my everyday?

My "work best friend" and I started a new workplace diversion activity today: "language phrase of the day." It will involve me writing a phrase in a foreign language on a post-it note with its English equivalent. We'll probably stick with Italian and French, but you never know what might pop into my head.

Which leads me here... I just find it so amazing that there are these little bits of strange languages hibernating in my brain. They lie dormant and peaceful for days or weeks until suddenly a single word or phrase will just leap up and into and out of my mouth. Well, sometimes I keep them in and try to make them stay quiet. But that often leads to more of their friends waking up and throwing a foreign language party in my head. It can be very distracting.

I digress.



"Jambo Kenya!"


I had the privilege of studying French in school in the US and practicing it in Guadeloupe and Canada and France. Studying and speaking Italian in Italy. Studying and attempting to speak Khmer in Cambodia. Learning and practicing bits of Hungarian in Hungary. Spanish in Nicaragua. German in Germany. Hindi in India. Thai in Thailand. Swahili in Kenya... Whenever I'm in a place where they speak something other than English, I want to participate! I. Love. Languages.

I feel kind of guilty when someone asks me if I'm fluent in French. I studied it for so many years; I should be, right? Unfortunately, when you don't use a second or third language on a regular basis it goes to that hibernating place in the language center of the brain. And it gets lazy. Well, it's probably a mutual thing. I have to practice if I want to retain any sort of fluency, any sort of ease of conversation. I find that it's almost always easier to understand someone speaking in French or Italian, but I struggle to create a response that isn't full of poor conjugation and weak pronunciation. Nonetheless, I try my best to just jump right in and engage in conversation and hope that some of those phrases and words (that come to mind so easily when I don't need them) will help me when I really need them.

Just a few weeks ago I had a "red letter day" that started when I diverged from my daily routine. (Sometimes I need to mix things up for a little adventure.) Instead of stopping at Starbucks on my way to work, I drove directly to my parking lot...and walked to the Starbucks on the Circle. I know. I am wild. I love working downtown and walking to get lunch or coffee is one of the reason I love it. Wide sidewalks. People bustling around, heading to work. Feeling connected to others.

That morning I noticed that the two men ordering their lattes before me at Starbucks were definitely not on their way to work in downtown Indianapolis. They were carrying backpacks. They had accents. And they spoke to each in French! I was then on a mission: I had to talk them before they left the cafe!

I was excited. But, then I was faced with a great challenge: What do I say??? French, French, French...Come on, brain! Think of something? How about..."Are you French?" Well, okay, that works. (Thankfully, it sounds so much better in French: "Vous êtes français?") He seemed pleasantly surprised by my question and was quite patient with me as we spoke in French for a few moments. I learned that he was traveling with his son and they were doing a tour of the U.S., passing through Indianapolis on their way to Chicago. So fun! I wished them a "Bon Voyage" and continued on to work, as they went to catch a bus. I couldn't stop smiling as I walked to my building. I'm sure some people that I passed must have wondered what I was so happy about on a Tuesday at 8 o'clock in the morning!

Whenever I get the chance to practice a foreign language (and wake up those phrases so comfortably hibernating in my head!), it always makes my day! Which makes me wonder…perhaps I should find a way to speak French (or Italian!) everyday? What if I had a job that allowed me every day to do something that makes me happy? I should probably look into that…

Not So Culture Shocked: Thoughts on returning home

It’s good to be back. Surrounded by familiar faces and familiar places, my reentry to American life and culture has been very smooth. What makes culture shock greater or less? Is it how much time you’re away? Does it depend on where you go, how you, live and/or what you do? I definitely experience a shock upon returning to the US after almost one year in Italy. And then I experienced it again returning home after my second year there. So, why didn’t I feel so shocked by America after almost 8 months in Cambodia?

Perhaps it’s because I’ve traveled so much. I don’t want to say that my time in Cambodia was “just another trip overseas.” I certainly experienced some challenges as I adjusted to living there. But, it felt pretty easy to return to Indianapolis. I do know that my previous overseas experiences helped me to prepare myself for the potential challenges of coming back home. As my departure from Cambodia approached, I began to think about the “reentry” lessons I had heard and learned in the past. I thought about how I might answer some of the common questions: everything from the broad “How was it?” to specific questions about food, culture, and “What was most different?” [I even thought about I might answer, “What’s next?” The response is still the simple, “I have no idea!”] I was able to anticipate some of the changes to my everyday life: I knew Walmart would be big, I knew traffic would be more ordered (and downright boring), and I expected there to be things I wouldn’t remember, like street names and the best way to drive downtown (which I always forget).

I also wonder if my lack of culture shock was due to just how incredibly different Cambodia is from the United States. I mean, I have to really think about it to come up with similarities between the two places. Yes, there was a pretty big grocery store—where I found lovely treats like Banana Nut Crunch cereal and Kraft Mac & Cheese! (But, there was no guarantee that our snacks imported from American would be there at each visit.) And I did find a great coffee shop near my house, but even that experience is so full of Cambodian culture. I discovered many places, food, and people that reminded me of home and contributed to making life in Cambodia fun. But, nothing was the same as home or consistent. Often it was the style, the construction, or simply the way of going about something that made it different. As I think about this way of comparing places and experiencing life in another in culture, my main basis for comparison is Italy and the two years I lived in Rome. When I came back home, many of the differences were more subtle between Italy and my American life. The two experiences for me are still “Western” life and culture, just played out across the Atlantic, whereas Cambodia versus Indianapolis is East versus West. I could write more about the comparison, but this is just a brief effort to communicate why American culture, with all of its negative and positive aspects, didn’t shake me much when I returned from my time in Southeast Asia.

It was bittersweet to leave Phnom Penh. I had found my place in my last few months there. I very much enjoyed my sweet, simple life. I had made some dear friends. Yet, I was excited to go home. I looked forward to reconnecting with family, friends, and my church community that had encouraged and supported me as I was away. I couldn’t wait to meet my little niece for the first time. And there was wedding planning to be done in preparation for my little sister who had gotten engaged while I was gone. My first two weeks home were great. I saw some friends. I jumped right back into church and helping with the high school youth group. Just before Christmas, my younger siblings came home with their (current and soon-to-be) families and reality set in: things had changed. Life happened and I was gone and it hurt. I knew that I would miss out on things while I was gone. And I was able to stay connected through photos and facebook and Skype calls. But, then I was home and feeling the actual affects all at once. So, that was my biggest culture shock. I wasn’t shocked by stores or streets or TV, but I was shaken by family culture and life and how it changes so easily.

I often wish that I could do everything and be everywhere without missing out on anything. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, that is not reality. So, now I’m home, adjusting well, yet still not sure what I’m adjusting to. “What’s next?” is still a question without an answer. So, I continue to search for the answer while enjoying the comforts and familiarity of family and friends and………home.

One of those very long days...

Today was one of those days that seemed to go on forever. I worked both jobs today and that always seems to be the most exhausting. Let's see...how many hours did I work today? 5 at church and 8+ at Sbucks. Yikes.

I got up at 7:15 to walk with my Mom. The Indianapolis Mini Marathon is this Saturday and we're signed up! I was going to walk/run it like I did last year, but Mom wants to walk it and doesn't have a partner. I also haven't trained quite as well I would have liked, so walking is just fine with me. Unfortunately, that means that 13.1 miles is going to take forever, but we'll have fun. And who knows who we'll meet along the way!

Anyway...back to today. Tuesdays are Staff Meeting days at church. I like Staff Meetings. It's not your typical meeting with an agenda, tedious group decision making, or boring reports. We usually sing a hymn or two to begin and then are led in a short devotional over a portion of scripture. There are usually announcements and updates from different areas of ministry within the church. Then the meeting concludes with sharing prayer requests/praises and praying for those needs. I almost leave staff meetings with tears in my eyes. Good tears. Today I was crying and my heart burdened as I heard prayer request after prayer request for family and friends who were sick and dying--several who don't know Jesus yet. And there was a memorial service for a man killed while serving with the Army in Iraq. I thought of my friend Brett who was killed in Afganistan three years ago while serving there with the National Guard. My heart hurt again for the loss of my friend and today for this other man's family.

I hate death and disease. I hate war. I hate cancer. I hate SIN. Sin is ultimately the root of all pain and suffering. Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross! Thank you for giving me and everyone the opportunity for new life in You! Yes, we may experience hardship during our lives on earth, but You are our Comforter! And when this life is over, whatever way it will end, those who truly know You as their Savior will live forever, worshiping you in heaven!

I am often overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions during staff meetings. The thoughts above are common. I am thankful when my frustrations with earthly struggles (like sickness or challenges of relationships) lead me to be frustrated and angry with sin. And not only sin in the world, but sin in my own life. Only when I truly despise the sin in my own heart, can I be purified and made more like Christ. Oh, that is what I desire! Lord, make me like You!

Working at Sbucks brings out a lot of my sin. It's so easy for me to be kind to people that I like, that are easy to be with and to work with. It's sooo much more difficult for me to be patient and kind with those people who aren't quite so easy to love, who are annoying or socially awkward or who just rub me the wrong way. I want to love everyone, be patient and kind, and live out all of the fruits of the Spirit all of the time. sigh. I am thankful that God is working in my life and allowing me opportunities to see areas of my heart that (still) have room for improvement. I know that I will never "arrive", for I want to always be "working out my salvation with fear and trembling."

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. --Philippians 2:12-13

Oh, how I wonder what His good purpose is for my life! (but that's another day's post...)

So, yes, today was long. I had a headache most of the day and could not stop yawning all morning and afternoon. I began my 8 hour shift at Sbucks at 3:30 and even though it was so long, I got to work with great people and felt pretty good about my 2nd close as a shift supervisor.

I want to wake up each morning with hope--with eager anticipation of what the Lord will have in prepared for me that day, to serve Him and be blessed by Him. I don't usually think like that and I should. What a great way to start the day!

So, I will end my day praying for tomorrow. May Christ be glorified in my life on Wednesday and always.

Beginning Again

I think that I will begin posting my thoughts and what's going on my life on the internet again. I haven't even looked at this blog (my own blog!) since the last time I posted. It's been almost a year and SO much has happened since then.


I may go back and talk about then, but here is a look at now.

I feel settled; content. I have two jobs that I actually enjoy. (What a blessing!) Some weeks I work too much. My schedule is crazy and inconsistent. I live at home. I love my parents. I love my church. I love my Indy friends. I have no idea what the future holds, but I'm living for Jesus today and know that He will direct my paths. Sooo good!

One of my jobs is...drum roll please...as a Barista at a very famous and oh-so-popular coffee establishment. Yes, that one. That's the job that makes my schedule ridiculous and also dictates when I work at my other job as a Ministry Assistant at my church. Working both places (while exhausting at times) provided a great balance to my work life and allows me to use lots of different gifts and talents and serve God in different ways!

Well, speaking of work...I have to be there at 4:45am tomorrow to open the store and serve beverage to the caffeine addicts of north side Indianapolis. Off to bed for me.

The Repeat Button of My Heart

It seems like I am living parts of my life over and over. Well, just three month increments of this past year. I've been asking the same questions; fighting the same fears; feeling the same feelings. A journal entry from October seems to say almost exactly what I'm thinking today:

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Thursday night, after choir practice, sitting at Starbucks, drinking a Caramel Machiatto.

I pulled out Sunday's church bulletin and on the insert was the following "Final Thought" for the week. Ephesians 2:10: "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." and this quote by Parker Palmer (I'm not sure who that is...something to look up sometime): "Vocation does not come from a voice 'out there' calling me to be something I am not. It comes from a voice 'in here' calling me to be the person I was born to be to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God."

Both of these quotes really connected with thoughts that I've had lately. What is my purpose that God has created for me? What are the good works that God has prepared for me? What is the "vocation" for which God has given me an inward calling for?

Lord, my God, my Creator, my King! What should it look like for me to live for you? To follow the path you have laid for me?

...(text omitted for future comment)...

Jesus, who am I? Who did you create me to be? Am I getting close? I know that I am a different person [now], that I have changed--but am I better? Am I more like you?

I want to walk closely with you, Lord, like I have before. I want to hear your voice. Give me patience, Lord, as I wait for you, for your direction, for your peace. Please search my heart and show me if there is any offensive way in me.

It's refreshing to read my own thoughts from a few months ago. Somethings have changed (the part I ommitted) and God has answered prayers, which I will write about in my next post. What has not changed is most of my thoughts written above, especially the questions about direction and guidance for my life and vocation. When I wrote this journal entry I had been at a job for about a month that I knew I wouldn't be at forever. I did not think, however, that it would be jusst a few months later that I would have a new job. Now, I can say the same thing...again.

This week will be my last week at a job that I thought would be great--and wasn't. I am disappointed that it didn't work out, but I'm okay with leaving. This leaves me, however, without a job. Next week I will be house and dog sitting and beginning to work on re-doing my bedroom. Really, I would like a job that I just like, something flexible, even part-time. I'm hoping that this time will one in which I can truly rest and recover from my challenging time overseas.

My prayer is the same...I want to walk closely with Lord during this time and always. May my love for Him increase each day.